Let's say you are not wealthy enough to afford a nanny or regular care giver. There are a number of reasons why you may be stuck with a baby while you do not feel well. It could be a lack of support from the other parent. It could be that the other parent is ill or away on business and you have no support from extended family. Perhaps you are a stay-at-home parent and your significant other could not take the day off. While your baby needs you, you could have a cold, flu, chronic physical illness, chronic disorder like anxiety or depression or you could be healing from an injury. Whatever your situation, here are some tips to help you to stay focused and reduce your stress during a time when most people would just call a babysitter.
First, and most important, find a routine and stick with it. Even babies in the womb love a routine. The less you fluctuate in your schedule, the happier your baby, toddler or child will be. This will cut down on tantrums. Even if you move a lot slower, your child will still know what's coming next and this will maintain some piece. If you know what's coming next, you won't have to try so hard to come up with things to do during a time when it's tough to concentrate. You most likely keep a schedule online. Keep a physical copy in a day planner or on a wall poster, depending on what is best for you. In case you have anything happen to your online/ in-phone file, you will have an easily accessible back up copy. If you have a hard copy but no online file, I encourage you to do so. This is due to the fact that you can easily edit your routine whenever needed.
Next, get some emergency meals in order.This way you can stay off your feet by just grabbing the meals you made ahead of time from the freezer. Make a large batch of something you can freeze and that you know you and the kids will both eat. If you don't have your own Ziploc or Tupperware tubs with lids, try and store in sandwich bags, wax paper secured with tape, anything you can use and seal with a label. If you already have your own labels and markers, great. If you do not, masking tape is easy to tear away and you can write directly on it. Sticky notes may seem obvious but some may not like how easily they come off. If you make labels by cutting regular paper into rectangles, try securing them to the containers with rubber bands. For food freezer friendly meals, store sealed tight for up to 4 months. For fresh fruit and vegetables, store in air-tight containers in the refrigerator for up to two weeks. If you live with someone who has sticky fingers, put your stored food in unmarked paper bags with the openings rolled shut. Out of sight, out of mind.
Lastly, this is my FAVORITE tip of all! Have toys that you never show your child unless you can't get around so easy. Of course make sure it is something they enjoy a great deal. They will be happy to see it and will keep active toddlers and school aged children occupied. Typically, a younger baby takes lots of naps and doesn't need that much extra stimuli. However, all babies are different. If your infant needs a little extra attention, try only bringing out the baby swing or rocker when you really need it. This way, they don't get used to it and risk it not putting them to sleep at nap time. For older kids, there is likely a favorite set of toys, a book or a movie they enjoy. Whatever your circumstances, be sure to limit the amount of time each item is used in one day. You should not allow them to have it all day to where they get bored. That's where your schedule comes in. Include nap time, snacks time, meal time and play time. Then, during play time they have that uncommon treat.
That is all for my tips on how to manage parenting during a sick/off day. I hope these tips were helpful to you. I hope only the best for your current health situation as well as your future!
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Parenting: Meal preperation when you are ill
From time to time, we all get sick. Some of us don't notice at all while others become totally bed-ridden. Sadly, there are many people who suddenly discover they have a disorder that isn't going away. If you already have a supportive family then you likely came here for just one or two tips.If you are like most people, your family or friends are completely in denial and either can't or won't help out. I am here to tell you, not matter what your situation, it is not your fault.Yes, we all have things we could have done differently but feeling guilty and blaming yourself is a waste of energy during a time when you need all the energy you have to help your family and yourself. In this blog, I will share a few tips to help you ask for help as well as become more self-sufficient in the area of home meal preparation. First, I will share my tips for how to do things on your own.
You need to start by recognizing how much you can do right now. Do you just have a tickle in your throat, do you already feel sick or are you totally wiped out? No matter which stage of illness you are in, you want to create a menu. You may need to order some delivery food this one time in order to have time for this. Do not stress yourself out or shoot too high. Simply list the days of the week down one side of your paper, leaving room for notes. Across the top of the paper, list "breakfast", "lunch", "dinner" and "snacks".
Starting with dinner, list the 3 easiest dinners for you to make. By "easy" I mean you've made it several times so you are an expert. Also, these meals should take 30minutes or less to prepare and 45 minutes or less to cook. That takes care of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. For Thursday, Friday and Saturday, list the same three meals but change one major ingredient in each meal. For example, let's say you listed spaghetti with Swedish meatballs for Monday. You would list spaghetti again for Thursday and write "turkey" meatballs or "tomato meat sauce" as an alternative to the original Swedish meatballs. In place of spaghetti noodles, consider bow tie pasta or even risotto.
Sunday will be left over day or take-out day if your budget allows. That is the easiest way to make sure you have a meal planned for you kids and / or significant other. If they are the type who demand extravigant variety well, just remind them you are not feeling well and this is a time to practice patience, gratitude and
generosity with their time.
Moving on to lunch is even easier than dinner. Just ask yourself: "Do I need my kids to fall asleep and take a nap after lunch or will my kids be helping around the house/going out to play after lunch?" If your answer is nap time, fill the week with items like dumpling soup and brown rice with fish. If your answer is work, then give them energizing foods like spinach salads with figs and sunflower seeds.
Next on your menu is breakfast. Breakfast can be the same thing. Again, you are trying to conserve energy, there is no need to wake up each morning and pressure yourself to make a perfect breakfast. For variety, just change simple things like oatmeal toppings or the drink you choose to go with it. For instance, Monday will be strawberries, Tuesday will be cinnamon. Monday will be skim milk and Tuesday will be lemon water. That takes care of what you write down on paper. Coming up soon is organization and how to plan ahead for two weeks. But for now: energy level.
Lets say you are wiped out and all you can do is muster the strength to make your menu.Well, put the list down and call someone for help with this next part. Hopefully you have already seen a doctor and you know what your limitations are as specified by a physician. This next part will require you, or your helper, to use large pots and as many zip lock or hefty food containers as you can fit on the bottom shelves of your refrigerator. It also helps to have a deep freezer or ask your family or neighbors who don't have kids if you can borrow the extra space in their personal freezers. I think most people fail to plan ahead for things like illness, childbirth, operations and long trips due to a lack of space to keep all the extra food. So, please take advantage of which ever technique works best for you.
Check your menu, look for all the staple grains (Whatever you will need the most of) like pasta, rice and quinaoi. Cook enough plain, unseasoned grains for your whole family for the total number of days you will need it within the next two weeks. Store in the largest containers you have on the second-to-bottom shelf of your fridge. It should not matter if the containers are clear or opaque. As long as there are lids, you can label them so you don't forget what's inside. The hefty sandwich size boxes with the snapping lids are really great for portioning out raw meat and dairy. This week's meat should go on the bottom shelf to avoid contamination. Next week's meat can go in the freezer (with labels). The top shelf is reserved for milk, cheese and other dairy products that don't fit in the door.
Check your menu again, this time looking at all fresh vegetables you will need. Soak, wash, peel, slice and chop all the veggies you will need for the next week to two weeks and place in large salad bowls while you get out your zip lock bags. Use large freezer bags for veggies that won't get ruined in the freezer i.e. corn, lentils, brocoli and squash. Also, use freezer bags for items that you will be cooking anyway i.e. spinach leaves needed for spinach soup and chopped fruits for smoothies. Last, put your individual salad portions in smaller bags and store in the refrigerator crisper drawer.
Let's not forget about snacks. We all know that snacks can be the difference between a smooth day and a day full of cranky kids. What is a good way to control the snacks when you are not feeling well? One way is make a snack basket. In between meals, if they get impatient, they can ask your permission first then grab whatever they need. It helps if you've raised your child with some restraint up until this point. What if my kid eats like a hoover vacuum? Well, just fill their basket with healthy things that are not really a first choice but if they are desperate, they will still eat it. Even if your kids are older, it's not wise to include anything they can choke on like peanuts or microwave popcorn bags which tend to be full of kernels.
Lastly, how do you ask for help? Whether you are embarrassed or you family is just cranky and rude, this is a tough subject for a lot of people. Some of you have taken communication or debate classes in college and have found that it only made things worse when speaking to certain people. Start out by letting your family know you would like them to set some uninterrupted time aside to speak with you. Let them know it's urgent and you'd like to speak this afternoon, evening and it concerns your health. When sitting down to speak, great them with as much happiness and warmth as possible. State exactly what the problem is and DO NOT sugar coat it, whatever you do. Just let them know before you start that neither of you should say anything negative and they you are open to hearing any concerns that they may have.
Let them know you need help and let them know exactly how much help you need WITHOUT mentioning any names. You are not assuming they will do it and you should not give them that impression. Now, here's the moment of truth. Tell them you appreciate them very much now and you'd appreciate anything extra that they'd be willing to do for you to PREVENT the situation from getting worse. After all, you have kids, if anyone suffers, it would be them. Now, some of you reading may tell yourselves, "this is rediculous, why would I ever have to talk to my family this way?!" This is not advice for people with close bonds with their friends, family and neignbors. This is communication advice for people who are warm and accepting (after all, you do have kids whom you adore!) but their family members are quite calloused. It's sadly a fact of life.
There you have it. A few of the best tips for planning ahead when you are ill. At the most, the ideas in this blog should buy you some time and confidence. At the least, I hope you've gotten some good ideas from what you read. No matter what adversity you are facing, just know it gets better. Please start each day with the knowledge that you are loved and you have a lot more options than you think.
You need to start by recognizing how much you can do right now. Do you just have a tickle in your throat, do you already feel sick or are you totally wiped out? No matter which stage of illness you are in, you want to create a menu. You may need to order some delivery food this one time in order to have time for this. Do not stress yourself out or shoot too high. Simply list the days of the week down one side of your paper, leaving room for notes. Across the top of the paper, list "breakfast", "lunch", "dinner" and "snacks".
Starting with dinner, list the 3 easiest dinners for you to make. By "easy" I mean you've made it several times so you are an expert. Also, these meals should take 30minutes or less to prepare and 45 minutes or less to cook. That takes care of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. For Thursday, Friday and Saturday, list the same three meals but change one major ingredient in each meal. For example, let's say you listed spaghetti with Swedish meatballs for Monday. You would list spaghetti again for Thursday and write "turkey" meatballs or "tomato meat sauce" as an alternative to the original Swedish meatballs. In place of spaghetti noodles, consider bow tie pasta or even risotto.
Sunday will be left over day or take-out day if your budget allows. That is the easiest way to make sure you have a meal planned for you kids and / or significant other. If they are the type who demand extravigant variety well, just remind them you are not feeling well and this is a time to practice patience, gratitude and
generosity with their time.
Moving on to lunch is even easier than dinner. Just ask yourself: "Do I need my kids to fall asleep and take a nap after lunch or will my kids be helping around the house/going out to play after lunch?" If your answer is nap time, fill the week with items like dumpling soup and brown rice with fish. If your answer is work, then give them energizing foods like spinach salads with figs and sunflower seeds.
Next on your menu is breakfast. Breakfast can be the same thing. Again, you are trying to conserve energy, there is no need to wake up each morning and pressure yourself to make a perfect breakfast. For variety, just change simple things like oatmeal toppings or the drink you choose to go with it. For instance, Monday will be strawberries, Tuesday will be cinnamon. Monday will be skim milk and Tuesday will be lemon water. That takes care of what you write down on paper. Coming up soon is organization and how to plan ahead for two weeks. But for now: energy level.
Lets say you are wiped out and all you can do is muster the strength to make your menu.Well, put the list down and call someone for help with this next part. Hopefully you have already seen a doctor and you know what your limitations are as specified by a physician. This next part will require you, or your helper, to use large pots and as many zip lock or hefty food containers as you can fit on the bottom shelves of your refrigerator. It also helps to have a deep freezer or ask your family or neighbors who don't have kids if you can borrow the extra space in their personal freezers. I think most people fail to plan ahead for things like illness, childbirth, operations and long trips due to a lack of space to keep all the extra food. So, please take advantage of which ever technique works best for you.
Check your menu, look for all the staple grains (Whatever you will need the most of) like pasta, rice and quinaoi. Cook enough plain, unseasoned grains for your whole family for the total number of days you will need it within the next two weeks. Store in the largest containers you have on the second-to-bottom shelf of your fridge. It should not matter if the containers are clear or opaque. As long as there are lids, you can label them so you don't forget what's inside. The hefty sandwich size boxes with the snapping lids are really great for portioning out raw meat and dairy. This week's meat should go on the bottom shelf to avoid contamination. Next week's meat can go in the freezer (with labels). The top shelf is reserved for milk, cheese and other dairy products that don't fit in the door.
Check your menu again, this time looking at all fresh vegetables you will need. Soak, wash, peel, slice and chop all the veggies you will need for the next week to two weeks and place in large salad bowls while you get out your zip lock bags. Use large freezer bags for veggies that won't get ruined in the freezer i.e. corn, lentils, brocoli and squash. Also, use freezer bags for items that you will be cooking anyway i.e. spinach leaves needed for spinach soup and chopped fruits for smoothies. Last, put your individual salad portions in smaller bags and store in the refrigerator crisper drawer.
Let's not forget about snacks. We all know that snacks can be the difference between a smooth day and a day full of cranky kids. What is a good way to control the snacks when you are not feeling well? One way is make a snack basket. In between meals, if they get impatient, they can ask your permission first then grab whatever they need. It helps if you've raised your child with some restraint up until this point. What if my kid eats like a hoover vacuum? Well, just fill their basket with healthy things that are not really a first choice but if they are desperate, they will still eat it. Even if your kids are older, it's not wise to include anything they can choke on like peanuts or microwave popcorn bags which tend to be full of kernels.
Lastly, how do you ask for help? Whether you are embarrassed or you family is just cranky and rude, this is a tough subject for a lot of people. Some of you have taken communication or debate classes in college and have found that it only made things worse when speaking to certain people. Start out by letting your family know you would like them to set some uninterrupted time aside to speak with you. Let them know it's urgent and you'd like to speak this afternoon, evening and it concerns your health. When sitting down to speak, great them with as much happiness and warmth as possible. State exactly what the problem is and DO NOT sugar coat it, whatever you do. Just let them know before you start that neither of you should say anything negative and they you are open to hearing any concerns that they may have.
Let them know you need help and let them know exactly how much help you need WITHOUT mentioning any names. You are not assuming they will do it and you should not give them that impression. Now, here's the moment of truth. Tell them you appreciate them very much now and you'd appreciate anything extra that they'd be willing to do for you to PREVENT the situation from getting worse. After all, you have kids, if anyone suffers, it would be them. Now, some of you reading may tell yourselves, "this is rediculous, why would I ever have to talk to my family this way?!" This is not advice for people with close bonds with their friends, family and neignbors. This is communication advice for people who are warm and accepting (after all, you do have kids whom you adore!) but their family members are quite calloused. It's sadly a fact of life.
There you have it. A few of the best tips for planning ahead when you are ill. At the most, the ideas in this blog should buy you some time and confidence. At the least, I hope you've gotten some good ideas from what you read. No matter what adversity you are facing, just know it gets better. Please start each day with the knowledge that you are loved and you have a lot more options than you think.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Tips for Parenting with Short Term or Chronic Pain
Do you or someone you know suffer from short term or long term pain issues? Perhaps you have an auto-immune disease like Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue. Perhaps there is not a chronic disorder but you have recently had surgery, changed jobs or you are getting over some sort of injury. Either way, these are things that are tough to deal with already. If you also have kids, her are ten tips to keep your day flowing easier.
1. Even if kids are well behaved, keep them on a daily schedule that doesn't change much. If they know what to expect, they are less likely to cause an extra kink on the days when your energy is the lowest.
2. Add a nap into your daily schedule. Whether it is for you or your baby, it is good to know the exact time you can look forward to a break each day.
3. Insulated lunchboxes are not just for lunches. Keep one full of those reusable ice packs for times when you need muscle or headache relief.
4. Instant heat packs are sold at some dollar stores. Whether you are on a budget or not, it is a good idea to buy these at a cheaper price when you need it daily. Carry at least three with you on a trip, just in case, for muscles and joints.
5. Men and women, avoid lifting objects that are too heavy or will cause straining. Women, please avoid wearing shoes with heels. You may think that this only affects your feet. Actually, wearing heals is not natural. It throws off your back which is a big part of your core strength. Anyone who has done research on your core will tell you just how much that affects the rest of your body and your over all quality of life.
6. Ask your health care provider if it's okay to take EXTRA vitamin E and D. You probably already take some sort of multivitamin and your doctor may not see a point in taking suppliments. However, ask your doctor if it's okay to at least try taking a double dose for a few weeks since these vitamins help prevent pain.
7. Keep your balance.If you are one of the lucky few who have a regular clothing budget, shop smart. This means that any time you purchase items like shoes, socks and bras, buy the kinds that are meant for correcting posture. This may or may not take away some current pain but the real idea here is to prevent any pain that may come in the future.
8. If you have an infant, use a baby sling rather than a baby carrier with straps and buckles. The baby sling will distribute the weight of the baby over a wide area of your body rather than press down on your shoulders in the same spot each time. Don't be afraid to suggest this to anyone you know who uses a baby carrier that is causing them to get red marks or fatigued.
9. Reduce external and internal stress. Hopefully, you stay out of the sun and keep hydrated and wear sunglasses and a brimmed hat. In the winter/cold season, try to avoid high-traffic areas like buses, planes trains and rest rooms. Also, avoid any activities that cause you emotional stress. I know you have a regular routine that you are used to. In the long-term, it's best to avoid things like arguments or sports you like to watch that you really get into (you know what I mean). If you are in a state of healing, then you only need to avoi
10. Family support. What do you do if your family is less than understanding? Well, if you can convince your PCP, or one of your specialist doctors to talk to them, this may work. The general public have an easier time excepting something when it comes from a source like a sign or a person in uniform. Ask your doctor if they can speak to your fam/friends directly over the phone, in person or write a letter on their office letterhead. The information given should be what your main ailments will be now and over time. They also should know what to expect as far as lifestyle changes as it pertains to you and them if you live with them.
*On a personal note, I currently manage well with everything except getting the rest I need. I suffered through my illness as a young person, not knowing that I had an auto-immune disorder. My parents appointed me babysitter to my younger siblings from age five up to the day I moved away from home. Although I had spent so much time dedicated to raising them while my parents worked, nobody really wanted to help me when I had children of my own. I emailed my family the details of my symptoms and how it affects my lifestyle. Nobody responded.
My sister visits us regularly so I spoke with her about it. I handed her a schedule of days of the week I would need child care. I included times of day, how many hours per day and which kids I was referring to each time. Although not much has changed, the little changes make a big difference. I hope this blog has either helped you directly or helped you to come up with your own helpful ideas.
1. Even if kids are well behaved, keep them on a daily schedule that doesn't change much. If they know what to expect, they are less likely to cause an extra kink on the days when your energy is the lowest.
2. Add a nap into your daily schedule. Whether it is for you or your baby, it is good to know the exact time you can look forward to a break each day.
3. Insulated lunchboxes are not just for lunches. Keep one full of those reusable ice packs for times when you need muscle or headache relief.
4. Instant heat packs are sold at some dollar stores. Whether you are on a budget or not, it is a good idea to buy these at a cheaper price when you need it daily. Carry at least three with you on a trip, just in case, for muscles and joints.
5. Men and women, avoid lifting objects that are too heavy or will cause straining. Women, please avoid wearing shoes with heels. You may think that this only affects your feet. Actually, wearing heals is not natural. It throws off your back which is a big part of your core strength. Anyone who has done research on your core will tell you just how much that affects the rest of your body and your over all quality of life.
6. Ask your health care provider if it's okay to take EXTRA vitamin E and D. You probably already take some sort of multivitamin and your doctor may not see a point in taking suppliments. However, ask your doctor if it's okay to at least try taking a double dose for a few weeks since these vitamins help prevent pain.
7. Keep your balance.If you are one of the lucky few who have a regular clothing budget, shop smart. This means that any time you purchase items like shoes, socks and bras, buy the kinds that are meant for correcting posture. This may or may not take away some current pain but the real idea here is to prevent any pain that may come in the future.
8. If you have an infant, use a baby sling rather than a baby carrier with straps and buckles. The baby sling will distribute the weight of the baby over a wide area of your body rather than press down on your shoulders in the same spot each time. Don't be afraid to suggest this to anyone you know who uses a baby carrier that is causing them to get red marks or fatigued.
9. Reduce external and internal stress. Hopefully, you stay out of the sun and keep hydrated and wear sunglasses and a brimmed hat. In the winter/cold season, try to avoid high-traffic areas like buses, planes trains and rest rooms. Also, avoid any activities that cause you emotional stress. I know you have a regular routine that you are used to. In the long-term, it's best to avoid things like arguments or sports you like to watch that you really get into (you know what I mean). If you are in a state of healing, then you only need to avoi
10. Family support. What do you do if your family is less than understanding? Well, if you can convince your PCP, or one of your specialist doctors to talk to them, this may work. The general public have an easier time excepting something when it comes from a source like a sign or a person in uniform. Ask your doctor if they can speak to your fam/friends directly over the phone, in person or write a letter on their office letterhead. The information given should be what your main ailments will be now and over time. They also should know what to expect as far as lifestyle changes as it pertains to you and them if you live with them.
*On a personal note, I currently manage well with everything except getting the rest I need. I suffered through my illness as a young person, not knowing that I had an auto-immune disorder. My parents appointed me babysitter to my younger siblings from age five up to the day I moved away from home. Although I had spent so much time dedicated to raising them while my parents worked, nobody really wanted to help me when I had children of my own. I emailed my family the details of my symptoms and how it affects my lifestyle. Nobody responded.
My sister visits us regularly so I spoke with her about it. I handed her a schedule of days of the week I would need child care. I included times of day, how many hours per day and which kids I was referring to each time. Although not much has changed, the little changes make a big difference. I hope this blog has either helped you directly or helped you to come up with your own helpful ideas.
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